This Father’s Day, I’m barking for the whole world to hear: you’re the real top dog, Dad! From the time you laid eyes on me, you chose me to be your best friend (wise move) and although I’ve wagged my tail approximately 1,532,938,472 times to show you *just* how much I ruff you, here are five reasons you take the prize!
1. Say it with me: BELLY RUBS
I don’t just roll over for anyone–in fact, having my belly exposed is one of the most vulnerable positions for me to be in! But with you, I know I’m safe and you’re always going to deliver top-notch rubbin’. Plus, all that stroking has been shown to activate my MRGPRB4+ neuron, which leads to pure pleasure.
2. Tasty treats to boot!
Who’s a good boy? I’m a good boy! And you never cease to shower me with a tasty treat to reinforce my good behavior. Since so many treats on the market are filled with nasty chemicals imported from other countries, I can’t stop yapping to the neighbor dogs about how lucky I am to get all-meat, grain-free treats! I just wish you’d stop making me share them with the cat.
3. Long walks on the beach…
Listen, I’m thankful you go to work to provide for the family and me every day, but summer is around the corner and I’ve got to keep my beach body in peak shape for all the lady dogs out there. Leash training and providing me with regular exercise helps ensure I’ll be healthy and happy for many years to come (and that I’ll have a date to paw-m).
4. …and bubble baths!
I know that I’m supposed to hate baths, but WOOF do I love how good I smell after I’m all lathered up (and the subsequent belly rubs and treats for being a good boy.) I can’t say I blame you for wanting to rub this belly, though, since the shea butter in my shampoo bar moisturizes my skin and makes it oh-so-soft.
5. Unconditional love and adoration
Before you entered my world, I had a ruff life. Living on the streets is something no dog should ever experience, but like a knight in shining armor, you swooped in and save the day. Every minute you’re gone seems like a lifetime, and every minute with you slows down time. You keep the love comin’, and I’ll keep bringing the cuddles. And the mud I track in the house. And the lizard I caught in the yard. And the appetite big enough you could feed an entire shelter. You get the idea.
So, Dad, I think it’s easy to see why you’re the real top dog here. In fact, I could go on for days, but did you see that squirrel?